Am I Supposed To Feel Like This?
What to expect when tragedy devastates your life
An informative view of the Grieving Process
BOOK REVIEWS
- The author understands that a person grappling with the very difficult, often mind-numbing work of grief will appreciate a straight-forward reference
- I would say this is a must-have book for every home. Paul Partridge
- I'm so glad to have such a wonderful resource as your book at my fingertips as to how to be a good friend Brandi Crawford
- There are so many roads one can more easily tread during and after reading it.
Maria Pollard - It is a kind, thoughtful and really great tool...David M. Frees
Things Not to Say to Someone Grieving a Loss
We all have found ourselves in the situation where we are faced with a friend or loved one who has just lost someone dear. As humans we want to say or do something that will help ease their pain. Also as humans we don’t want to say or do something that will make their pain worse. So what do we usually do? Say little or nothing at all and try to change the subject.Below is a general list of what not to say:
• He/she is in a better place~that gives the message that their life here was not that good.
• I know how you feel~no one honestly knows how another person feels, we may be able to imagine how they feel but we will never know exactly how they feel.
• God wanted him/her to be with Him~remember that the person grieving also wants their lost loved one with them.
• There is a reason for everything~your friend is not looking for reason but for their pain to go away.
• You are still upset?~there is no timeline for grieving
• Be strong~your friend has been zapped of about all emotional strength after a loss of a loved one.
• It was their time~again, your friend is missing their loved one and it doesn’t ease the pain putting a schedule on someone’s life.
Similar to the ones listed above are:
• They led a good life
• They lived a long life, many don’t live as long
• You can have/find another
• They brought this on themselves
If you cannot think of anything to say know that a hug and a squeeze of their hand can speak volumes.
Category: General
When you or a loved one has suffered a traumatic loss, loss of a loved one due to accident or illness, loss of a function, loss of a relationship or any loss at all Am I Supposed To Feel Like This will offer a fundamental understanding of the stages of grief.
1 Comments to "Things Not to Say to Someone Grieving a Loss"
I have a couple of comments to add. Don't ask what they died from. They are dead. It doesn't matter and in some cases the cause of death may be something that the survivors don't really want to share, such as a drug overdose. I also want state that it is never too late to express your condolences. One woman told me two years later, that she didn't know about her death until a couple of months later after she had died. I couldn't help but wonder why she didn't contact me then and express her sympathy. Other people that I had worked with closely never said a word. It felt weird because they had known me for a long time and we worked in a small office. Maybe they didn't know what to say or were afraid of my reaction, but it hurt my feelings . I appreciate your blog on "what not to say" but even then, a wrong comment at least lets someone know that you care.
Posted by Virginia
on November 4, 2010 at 05:41 PM
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